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"Think it's dead yet?"
"I don't know..." "Poke it!" "I don't want to poke it. You poke it." "I poked it last time." "Well... I'm pretty sure it's dead, now." "But how do you know?" "Rachel, you cut off it's BLOODY HEAD!" |
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"Think it's dead yet?"
"I don't know..." "Poke it!" "I don't want to poke it. You poke it." "I poked it last time." "Well... I'm pretty sure it's dead, now." "But how do you know?" "Rachel, you cut off it's BLOODY HEAD!" |
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Chapter 1 Recollections of the Past. Our two heroic heros (that would be Rachel and Katy not Aragorn and Legolas) are giving our other heros a hard time. Aragorn recalls something from the past which may be of some use to the party.
Chapter 2 Middle-earth Marathon. Aragorn, being the slave-driving-ranger is doing what he does best; driving slaves. One thing's for sure, Rachel and Katy will sure be glad when THIS part of the journey is over.
Chapter 3 Fangorn Forest? The cross country trek continues and the company finally catch a glimpse of the infamous Fangorn Forest, beyond which Isengard is found. Everyone, however, is not convinced by this pathetic show of greenery.
Chapter 4 Big Rocks. After a run in with the Rohirrim, the orc hunt is nearly at an end...
Chapter 5 First Watch. As night comes on the edge of Fangorn, the unthinkable occors... That's right, Rachel volunteers for first watch. Oh! The horrors!
Chapter 6 Overkill. While traveling through Fangorn Forest the Fellowship discover there is such thing as "too much precaution."
Chapter 7 Blasted Horses. Horses are all fine and well, when used in moderation; however Gandalf seems not to recall that word after his recent bout with death.
Chapter 8 Make that Six. Stacey recalls the events in Lothlorien preceding her being kicked out--which, no matter what she says, she was. And who can blame the elves? I'd kick a hazard like that out too.
Chapter 9 Gnome Candy. Stacey's story ends with an event of ridiculous proportions and a random exclamation concerning gnomes (thus the title). Theoden is free and the Fellowship have broken the news to Rachel and Katy of their immenant departure...
Chapter 10 Linear Time. With a little time to think and new questions brought up by the mysterious arrival of Nikki, Rachel allows a bit of her philosiphical nature to show as she attempts to explain to the others a theory about time travel.
Chapter 11 Perks of the City. Over come with boredom after only a couple of hours in the company of their friends, Rachel and Katy seek out fun in the city of the horse lords. What they find, though, one could hardly consider as fun.
Chapter 12 Erkenbrand Flakes. More horse riding as well as a brief interlude involving everyone's favorite hobbits!... Unless your favorite hobbits are Fatty Buldger, Bilbo, any of Pippin's sisters, well, you get the idea.
Chapter 13 A Game. Helm's Deep, the impressively large rock of the Rohirrim. A look at what Katy and Rachel - neither of them wanting to be there - are doing in the caves...
Chapter 14 I'm... Dead? One of the few chapters not to be told in first person. The battle for Helm's Deep is over and to the fellowship's dismay Katy and Rachel were never seen in the caves. Is this the end? Did our brave heros die on that stone wall?
Chapter 15 Ents, Ents, Ents! As you may have guessed, no, chapter 14 was not the end. Katy and Rachel have the chance of the life time when Gandalf grants them permission to come along with the Rohirrim to Isengard and they get to see... Ents!
Chapter 16 Jericho-Thick. Do you remember your Bible stories? Well, if you do, then you can imagine how thick the walls around Orthanc were.
Chapter 17 And Thus Ends the Tale of Two Towers. But only because Rachel and Katy are not currently following around Frodo and Sam, so their little sidetrail is not covered in this story.
Chapter 18 Rangers of the North. On our way back to Helm's Deep, we are met by a small company of Aragorn's kin. You might remember this from such film's as Lord of the-- oh wait, no you wouldn't, because Jackson cut them completely! I'm not bitter at all, really.
Chapter 19 The List. It is long past time for Katy and Rachel to decide what road they will follow next. To aide them in this choice, they create a list. Don't laugh, it's a good list.
Chapter 20 The Ever-Knowledgeable Scholar. With their path picked out, Katy and Rachel strike out fearlessly with Aragorn... right?
Chapter 21 Helm's Deep: The Extended Edition. For those of you who always wanted to know what really happened to our heroes at Helm's Deep, but were too afraid to ask.
Chapter 22 "Fairly Relaxing" Means "Boring". The... interesting time Katy and Rachel spend at Helm's Deep. And the invention of croquet. What more could you want?
Chapter 23 Almost There. *NEW* And thus ends the tirade on Middle-earth. May it rest in peace. As soon as I finish the sequel...
Random Interlude #2 Inside Info on M.E.: The Movie. *NEW* In light of the success of the M.E. Radio Dramatization (in most of Ethiopia and bits of Greenland), M.E. is going Hollywood! Well... almost. Read to learn more from the completely accurate reporters at USA Today!