E.M. Chapter Seven: "Bad Hearing" or "Mutiny"
I tiptoed into my room, making sure the door was wide open. In the most sneakiest of ways I carefully made my way over to my CD player on the dresser next to the door. I gave a tentative glance back at the doorway where my evil sidekick was still asleep in the hall before turning the power on and cranking the volume all the way max.
Katy bolted upright in a most amusing fashion, eyes wide and darting about everywhere with the look of panic on her face that only a goat cheese master could accomplish. My work done, I turned the radio back off, not exactly enjoying the noise blasting right into my ear, it wasn’t even Lord of the Rings, after all.
When I was done with that task I looked back at Katy who was now glaring at me, "What was that all about?" She demanded.
I looked behind me both ways to make sure she wasn’t talking to anyone else before answering innocently, "What was what all about?"
My sidekick’s eyes narrowed, making her look very evil indeed, "That noise you would call music, what else?"
"I don’t know, there are an infinite number of possibilities you could have been referring to, such as—" I broke off when her glare intensified. "Oh, the music. Right. Well, I figured we might as well get an early start and after trying everything else I could think of this was the only way left to wake you up."
"What else did you try?"
I hesitated before answering, "I whispered your name from across the room. Do you just have really bad hearing, or what?"
Katy rolled her eyes, "I don’t have bad hearing, you wouldn’t wake up if I whispered your name from across the room, either."
"Wanna bet?" I asked, a smirk placing itself firmly on my lips.
Hesitating, Katy waved the idea aside, "Maybe some other time. So what do we need to do that couldn’t wait for a reasonable hour like, oh, say eleven?"
"Cheap help." I answered, "Cheap help always gets up at five in the morning, so it’s the best time to find it."
"Cheap help?" Katy echoed skeptically.
I nodded, "Yep, we need… Seven more people for our plan. I guess we could use my brother as one, he probably wouldn’t mind. And I’ll bet Nikki’d be willing to come…"
"And Stacey," My evil sidekick cut in, being the helpful evil sidekick she so rarely is.
"Okay, so that puts us at five, we still need four."
"But Stacey won’t be up this early in the morning." Katy observed.
I shot her a glare, "She’s cheap help, right? Cheap help is always up this early in the morning."
Fifteen minutes later—I had actually had to stop along the way, due to some jerk who thought he could go through a green light and almost ran into my car while doing so—we pulled up next to Stacey’s house. I pulled over to the side of the road, settling my car into it’s usual parking space and then Katy and I made our way to the door.
I rang the bell while Katy leaned against the wall, yawning. Five minutes later, I rang the bell again. Three minutes after that, I rang once more. Now I was getting really annoyed and banged on the door, "I know you’re in there! Stacey, get out here!"
Ten minutes later I had given up and was sitting dejectedly on the step in front of the door, Katy leaning on my shoulder as she tried to catch a little sleep. Just then, the door behind us opened revealing a very annoyed looking girl. Her eyes fell on us and narrowed.
"What’s the big idea of waking me up at six in the morning?" She demanded, sounding most unhappy about the whole situation.
I pushed Katy off my shoulder—she limply fell the other direction and didn’t even flinch as she smacked against the concrete—and rose to meet her, an innocently confused expression on my face. "You were sleeping?" I asked with concern, "Are you sick or something?"
"No I am not sick!" Stacey exclaimed, looking, if possible, even more irritated than before. "No normal person wakes up this early when they don’t even have school."
"But," I said, "but… you’re the cheap help! They’re always up at five in the morning!" She did not look any happier at this news, "You are the cheap help, aren’t you?"
Her glare did not subside, "THIS cheap help doesn’t get up before ten if she can help it!"
"Well, that’s a bummer. Guess I coulda let Katy sleep in some today, then, huh?" I said, then shrugged, "Oh well, no matter now, right? It’s all done and over, anyway… So, about this cheap help thing…"
"You wake me up at six o’clock and now you want to ask me for help?" Stacey asked, "You’re crazier than I thought!"
"Right, right," I agreed vaguely, "But about this help and all… You still want to help me and Ilga take over the world, right?"
"Ilga?" Stacey repeated with confusion.
"Right, see, Katy’s adopted the name of the Illustrious Goat Cheese Master, but we just call her Ilga for short. So do you want a piece of it, or what?" I asked, sparing a glance to my partner, who was sleeping with her head propped at a very odd angle against the side of the house.
"How big a piece?" Stacey asked.
"Well," I started, "You’ll be, like, a Lieutenant, or something, I guess, so you’ll get… what, two percent?"
Stacey blinked, "Two percent?" She repeated unenthusiastically.
I nodded, "Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?"
"Oh yeah," Stacey replied sarcastically, "two percent sounds just great! I’d get up at four am every morning for two percent, if I needed to! There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for a lousy TWO PERCENT!"
"Great," I grinned, thoroughly pleased she had taken my conditions, "You can go ahead and get in the car, we still need to round up the others. I’ll take care of Katy."
Stacey blinked at me, looking at—I assume—someone right behind me as if they were the stupidest person on earth, then, grumbling about how sarcasm is lost on the idiotic, reluctantly made her way down to my car with a shout of "Mom, I’m leaving!" Back to the house for good measure.
I nodded approvingly and turned to wake my evil sidekick. I shook her, nothing. "Katy, wake up," I tried. Again, nothing. I shook her again, this time adding the request for her to wake up at the same time. Still, there was no response. I sighed and, with much struggling, lifted my smaller companion and brought her down to the car. I somehow managed to get the passenger door open while still holding my burden and quickly deposited it on the chair, slamming the door back in place while complaining about how hard it was to get good, reliable help these days.
I walked back around to the driver’s side, but when I tried to open the door I found it to be locked. I pulled out my keys, unlocked the door, and tried to open it again. It was still locked. Growling with frustration I unlocked the door again and quickly tried the handle. It was still stuck! I looked in through the window and saw Stacey grinning back at me, an innocent expression on her face. I knew immediately what this meant: Mutiny.