M.E. Chapter 29: Concerning Hobbits

We finally got up the tree (via ladders) and got to sleep. The next morning Haldir announced we would be taken to see the lord and lady of the wood.

As we were walking further into the woods I decided to try to apologize to Legolas so he wouldn’t be insulting me in a language I barely knew all the time, "So, Legolas… Did you rest well last night?" I asked, "I sure did."

He looked at me, "You slept last night? Even through all the noise the orc armies made?"

"What orc armies?" I asked.

Katy walked up, "Don’t you remember, the orc armies that came out of Moria."

"We didn’t get attacked by orc armies, I would’ve woken up." I insisted.

"No, we didn’t get attacked, they only passed by under the trees." Katy informed me.

"And they made an enormous amount of noise while they were at it." Legolas complained.

"Oh well, I can sleep through the roar of airplanes even when I’m right next to the runway, so I wouldn’t be surprised…" I said.

"You seriously slept through all that?!" Katy asked, "I couldn’t even sleep through it!"

"Of course I slept through it. I said I slept through it, didn’t I?" I said annoyed.

We were silent for a few minutes. "You’re very unobservant, Rachel." Katy pointed out.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing." She said, smiling innocently.

I grumbled but didn’t say anything else. It just so happens that during this time Sam had walked up.

"You would have yelled at me if I had said that." He mumbled as he passed us.

"Yeah, well, I couldn’t possibly stay mad at Katy!" I told him, overhearing.

"Really, why not?" He asked sounding like he was forcing pleasantness out.

"Because, she’s a hobbit. I could never stay mad at a hobbit, Samwise Gamgee." I told him bluntly.

He stared at me like I was the stupidest person he ever saw, then regaining his composure he carefully informed me, "She is not a hobbit."

I blinked at him and returned his stare, "Yes she is."

"No she isn’t! Master Frodo is a hobbit! Master Merry is a hobbit! Pippin is a hobbit! And I am a hobbit. Lady Katy definitely is *not* a hobbit." Sam shouted indignantly.

"No, Katy *is* a hobbit." I maintained.

"No she is not!"

"Yes she is!"

"No she isn’t!"

"Um… I do not mean to interrupt, Sam… But it is ‘is not’ not ‘isn’t’." Merry budded in.

We ignored him, "She is too a hobbit, how else could my not being able to stay mad at her be explained?" I countered.

"I do not know! She is your friend, that is probably enough of an explanation!" Sam said, "And besides, I am a hobbit, and you certainly find it easy enough to stay mad at me!"

I stared at him in shock, "You? You’re a hobbit??" I asked.

"Of course I’m a hobbit!" Sam exclaimed.

"I am." Merry corrected.

"Why else would I have fuzzy hobbit feet, and pointy ears??" Sam asked.

"You’re an undersized elf who doesn’t shave?" I asked.

Sam sighed in exasperation.

"Katy, tell Sam you’re a hobbit." I told Katy.

"Sam, you’re a hobbit." Katy repeated obediently.

"Ai! That’s not what I meant!" I said, hitting my forehead.

"Oh, *I’m* a hobbit, Sam." Katy corrected.

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled us over to Frodo who was happily enjoying the beauty of the forest, "Mr. Frodo? Would you please tell these two that I am a hobbit and Lady Katy is not?" Sam politely requested.

Frodo laughed, "Of course you are a hobbit Sam! And Lady Katy is a human."

I shook my head, "Frodo, Frodo., so naïve, even at the ripe old age of 50. I guess Sam could be *part* hobbit, but Katy is 100% hobbit. Has been for at least half a year!" I assured him.

"How can you be hobbit for only half a year??" Sam asked.

"Now you’d think that would be a problem," I agreed, "But Katy is somehow able to bend the rules, must be some forbidden physic-magic or something."

Sam groaned, "Not back with that ‘Physics’ stuff again, are you? I have never even heard of it."

"Oh, then let me enlighten you." I said with a smile and proceeded to baffle the young hobbit with advanced physics he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. At least he learned something though, I’m sure after an hour he learned how to zone me out. I would imagine that to be a useful talent.

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