M.E. chapter 13: The British Are Coming!

We gave up trying to get anything more out of the elves and continued to the dining hall. We saw the hobbits sitting near Aragorn—Stacey wasn't here yet apparently—so we walked over and sat down with them. As soon as Aragorn saw us, he moved away a little and proceeded to glare at me. I decided that he must be mad that I called him Elrond.

"I'm sorry I called you Elrond last night." I told him, it's not good to have a ranger for an enemy, after all, "I think I was kind of drunk… And you really don't look much like him at all."

Aragorn continued glaring at me and didn't say anything. I sighed, ‘men,’ I thought, ‘they hold such stupid grudges.’ I then tried to ignore him and it worked… for about seven seconds. Then I started to get nervous that he was going to kill me or something.

No more than a minute had passed and I finally gave in, "What?" I asked, "I said I was sorry, can't we just drop it? Or at least tell me why you're still mad?"

"I got over THAT upon seeing the look on Elrond's face when you mistook him for me." Aragorn told me, still glaring.

"Ok…" I said confused, "Then what are you so mad about?"


Aragorn had just retired to his room to sleep and failed to notice several small creatures follow him in. He took off his belt and went into the adjoining bath room to change for bed. A strange noise coming from the sleeping chamber caught his attention and he dashed back in to see two very drunk hobbits and two very drunk maidens running out of the room laughing about something.

He looked around to see what damage they had caused now, and noticed that his sword was missing from its sheathe on his belt. ‘They wouldn't!’ he thought, but of course he was wrong, we had.

He ran out to the hall just in time to see us disappear around another corner. He pursued but we had soon been able to lose the ranger despite his well-toned tracking abilities.

Discouraged he turned another corner, no sign of us at all. Not too much later however, he heard strange yelling and shouts of confusion coming from a corridor to his right. He knew instantly that it must be us.

He cleared the corner only to see me swinging around his sword like only a drunk could. Katy was banging on doors as we ran down the hall, both of us yelling to the elves: "The British are coming!" interspersed by a: "To arms! To arms!" By me. Merry and Pippin were only following after us laughing, sometimes joining in with the shouting.

Many of the elves were very confused and had panic written across their face, clearly to arouse such commotion these ‘British’ must be a great foe. Others just looked angry at being woken—able to tell that we were drunk and probably didn’t know what we were talking about.

Aragorn quickly caught up with us and wrenched his sword free of my weak grasp. I looked up at him and informed him "The British are coming." with a serious look on my face.

"And who are the ‘British’?" he asked me with a harsh tone.

"The British!" I told him helpfully, "We need to win independence from the cruel king of England and his evil tea bags!"

He ignored me seeing that I was only carrying on in drunken stupor although he raised an eyebrow at the bit about evil tea bags. He took me and Katy by the hands and quickly led us all back to our rooms with the hobbits faithfully following behind. He was able to get us to our rooms without waking too many more elves up, but many still heard our warnings as he drug us down the hall.

He brought me to my room first and pushed me through the doorway causing me to stumble towards my bed. "But, Aragorn?" I asked, "We need to fight the British, how can we do that from here?"

"You will stay here." Aragorn told me harshly, "These borders are well protected, the British won’t get past Elrond’s guards. Just go to sleep."

"Oh." I said, "Okay… Who are you again?"

"You know who I am." He said annoyed and trying to keep Katy on her feet as she was about to pass out.

"The King of England?" I asked, fumbling around for a sword I no longer had.

Aragorn just sighed, closed my door, and took Katy down the hall to her room before leading the hobbits (who were still laughing) away to their rooms.

**End Flashback**

Aragorn continued to glare at me. "The British are coming?" I asked, "We really did that?" He nodded. "Guess I learned something in history after all." I shrugged.

Katy agreed and the hobbits started laughing again, but that was soon cut short by their groans at the noise and they stopped.

"Oh, well if that’s what happened then I’m sorry Strider." I said, but added under my breath, "Wow, I can steal from a ranger even when I’m drunk!"

Strider didn’t stop glaring and I was afraid he might have heard my comment. I shrugged it off and started to tell the others about the amazing feats of my people in the legendary war against the British. All about how we were outnumbered and were but a poor little rebellion at the time but in the end we won a glorious victory throwing down the evil British Empire (not that I have anything against England) and to this day they have always continued to remain our loyal servants. I may have grossly exaggerated most of the details, but that just made it a better story, and when I was through everyone from the hobbits to Strider looked amazed.

Even Katy was in awe and said, "Wow! Did this really happen?"

"Of course it did!" I told her indignantly, "Don’t you ever pay attention in history?"

The rest of the day was just as bad as the morning. I still didn’t find Gandalf, and Elrond had a ‘talk’ with us (he’s even worse than my parents); he was greatly displeased with the hobbits and Stacey as they had spiked the punch. By the end of the day we had learned of several other incidents from last night including the harassment of several horses (we had tried to steal them but being drunk couldn’t retain balance for more than half a minute), a disturbance in the armory (resulting in a guard to be set today), many insulted elves (most of them getting over it after realizing we were drunk), and several broken windows and other objects (which I still insist weren’t my fault).

That night when I went to bed there were two things on my mind. One was that I had to find Gandalf tomorrow. Two was that we somehow had to ditch Stacey as it’s her fault that we got in trouble! Actually from what we had heard them tell Elrond it was more Merry and Pippin’s fault, but who can stay mad at hobbits?

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